Atlantic City

It's been a year since I've done anything at all really. As we arrived I spotted this amusing couple in the Bus Terminal of Bally's. It may be hard to make out, but yes the silver haired gent is peeking the Adult Classifieds of the Atlantic City Weekly alongside his wife. Better yet, a moment later, she was peeking over his shoulder to see what he was reading and then went back to book. It was the beginning of a great 14 hour trip.

Since I left Hollywood and came to New York my brushes with fame have become less frequent. I do not have to deal with celebrities and do their bidding in terms of their food and drink needs. Its actually kind of nice. Although dealing with 5 year olds is not exactly what I had in mind for myself ever. I've become somewhat accustomed to life here. I go to work, I plan, I cook, I eat, I sleep, and recently I've begun going to school again.

This morning I woke up to go to class and my roommate asked what I was up to today. I assumed he was just being friendly since we were both awake and in a close proximity. Then he said Shenek, the former occupant of my room would be coming soon, which is normal, she stops by now and again to hang out. I've met her a few times, she's nice. We talk. She's kind of quirky she loves attractive or wealthy men and talks about encountering them in clubs and bars. She reminds me of Kyle sometimes because of her dislike of ugly people. She isn't quite as mean about it, but just as blunt. My roommate explain by she was coming. Apparently she answered some online survey and was contacted by the Dr. Phil show and they were going to be filming because Shenek does not like ugly people. I couldn't help but laugh out loud.

So I went to class and then had lunch with some classmates. I came back and sure enough the TV crews were here filming. I half expected the entire thing to be a joke. I snooped around and saw all the gear. It was all real, but no Dr. Phil. They are all flying out to LA tomorrow to continue filming, with Dr. Phil.

This is weird. I never expected to ever move to New York, or be a Kindergarten teacher, nor did I ever expect to ever have anything to do with Dr. Phil. Granted, I'm not on the show, or a part of it in any way really, but the apartment that I reside in will have a significant role in this episode. Life is funny, and I don't mean that in any sort of reflective way. It really is just funny. I can't help but laugh.

"F" Bomb

It may be that no one even reads this anymore. I've been terrible about updating it, but I hope, and I stress hope, to update more often than once a month. New Years was a eventful. Kevin remembers more than I do so I recommend reading his post for any details.

Apparently I'm on the "Consultation Committee" with the United Federation of Teachers at my school now. All I did was mention I was interested in the Union to our building rep and today at a meeting she announced I was a new member of the committee.

I did some interviews for Pitzer this past weekend Downtown. It was weird being treated like a "real" adult. One parent spent like 20 mins talking to me about the economy. While it surely is a concern of mine, it made me feel like a jackass talking about it for so long. Most of the kids were pretty ok, with one or two spark plugs. Some people can talk, but had absolutely no depth.

Today, our newest student, who's mother speaks perfect English, but he speaks none, called another student a "fuckin' bitch" and thus taught everyone else the term, but it was surprising that all the other kids knew that it was a bad word, but did not hesitate to repeat it. My immediate reaction was to run out of the classroom and burst into laughter. Witnessing multiple 5 year olds say "fuckin' bitch" is all sorts of funny. Then I came back and went into teacher mode. I asked him where he learned that language. He responded that his grandfather taught him. Not wanting to discourage language acquisition I explained that he could speak to his grandfather that way if he wanted to, but in the classroom we don't call each other that.

The situation reminded me of when I learned the "F" word for the first time. I was in 1st grade, or 6 years old (so it shouldn't be a huge shock that he learned it at 5), and I was in a 1st/2nd bridge class. A 2nd grader told me to say "buckeroo" with an "f" instead of a "b." I said it multiple times and nothing happened. When I said it at home my mom punished me and told me to never say that again. She must have been distressed that I was being exposed to that already, but I had no idea what part was the bad word, and what it even meant.

There has been all sorts of drama at my school over paperwork. There is a ton of paperwork (reading and writing portfolios with work from each month in each grade) that is required for each child, but no one reads, and middle schools just send it back to us after the child moves up. The administration seems to be as nice as possible to me, but the old guard of the school thinks they're out to get us. I think everyone is approachable, but they make this big deal about telling our union rep who then relays the messages to the admin. Then the admin is concerned because we are not honest with them and it appears that they are not approachable. I don't know I'm just kind of wingin' it still and trying to survive. It helps that I'm working with an experienced teacher, who also feels the admin is being unfairly villain-ized. People misinterpret comments from them and make them seem so terrible when they tell others. One Asst. Principal said something along the lines of "you shouldn't leave this job tired, the kids should" and went on to explain that the little things we worry about we should have the kids help us with like organization-type things, but everyone was like "what? so I'm supposed to be super energized after the day?" Of course they all said this after the meeting was over instead of asking for an explanation in the first place. I'm just trying to keep a neutral position and do my job as well as I can.

A Much Needed Update

I meant to post the following back in the beginning of the month, but I got busy.

It's been quite some time since I updated here, but there have been many developments. When I last wrote I was feeling a little uninspired. My program, while it sounds like a good idea, lacks a few things, including help during the job search. They provided us with some training for 6 weeks, and 5 weeks of student teaching. Then they said there would be hiring events and an online application where we could schedule interviews. No hiring events occurred and the online application remained empty and still does to this day. It was left up to the individuals to set-up interviews. I sent out my resume to a total of about 75 schools and heard back from maybe 6 or 7. More then half of them said there were no vacancies and I got a couple of interviews and all of them said they would contact me soon, but never did. The last interview I had was at a school I really liked in the Bronx for a bilingual 1st grade position back on November 8th and 9th. My mom and sister visited NYC for the first time on the 9th and fast forward to the Friday before Thanksgiving I realized that the shortened week would make it difficult to set-up more interviews, I hadn't heard back from anyone, so I looked up some flights. I found a flight home for a good price and was at home for the holiday, 90 proof, 2 Margarita Mondays and plenty of time for fun spread over 10 days. I even set out to get some things accomplished. I entered myself into the substitute system for the NYC school district and I meant to send out more resumes, but I didn't.
The day of my 2nd Margarita Monday, the day before I was due to head back to NYC , I got a call from the school in the Bronx I last interviewed with back on the 8th/9th (who said they would get back to me within a week) and the principal said some things had changed, but she would like to speak with me, and if I'm still interested they would like to offer me the position. I agreed of course (the school seemed really well organized, with well-behaved children during my sample lesson, a clinic on-site with a dentist, and a good use of available resources) I couldn't make it until Wednesday morning so as I got off of the red-eye I hopped on the subway, went to my place, changed into a tie, and headed to the school. I spoke with the principal and the change was that the position they now had in mind for me was a Cooperative Team Teaching (2 bilingual teachers, 1 SPED, 1 Gen. Ed.) Kindergarten Teacher position. I agreed, which means....I'M EMPLOYED and I TEACH KINDERGARTEN. I went in Thursday the 29th and Friday the 30th of November to observe the current teachers, and then took over for the Gen. Ed. teacher Monday December 3rd.
It's been a handful thus far. The other teacher and I try to plan but our classes have not really gone according to our plans. It's a really good situation for me to start out in with another teacher and only 25 students. Kindergarten is a lot harder then I remember it being. My kids know what a Trapezoid, Rhombus, and Hexagon and there is quite a bit of a literacy block for them as well. I mostly remember playing with blocks and puzzles. My school has a "mini-building" for the kindergarten classes, of which there are 8. Of course I'm the only male kindergarten teacher, and most of the others seem to be married and have kids. The school is HUGE. There are over 1000 kids and its incredibly diverse, which I love, but it also has shown me a bit of racism just in my first few days. There is a significant Latino population of mostly Mexicans and Dominicans, a large population of Albanians, as well as Asian and White populations. My co-teacher is Dominican and she has trouble telling some of the kids apart and told me that "all the mexican kids look the same." Another day one of the other K classes was lining up to go in their room and one of the janitors say one of the asian students in the class and yelled "AAYYY It's my man The Golden Child." I couldn't believe it. I guess its better to have the diversity with a little bit of ignorance rather than none, or blatant racism. I don't know.

Well I'm stuck in the airport currently on my way back home for the holidays. I still have about an hour here, but I want to do some school stuff. I want to re-vamp the seating chart. The kids are way to chatty now. Anyway hope everyone is doing well.

Memorium

I've been bad about the blog again. I need to update about my new job and things but I haven't had much time yet. As a place holder let's all remember the great Ike Turner. McSweeney's ran a great piece at the onset of the war in Iraq about how Ike Turner would handle Restoring American's Honor. Check it out.

He may have been a dick, but he was a great musician:

PONOMA!!!

Yes, you read correctly "PONOMA" as in "PONOMA, CA."

As much as people tell me how horrific, brutal, and primitive the sport of Boxing, I must admit I have a fascination in it. There's something about the fact that it is 1 person vs. 1 person, a couple of gloves for "protection," and 1 will against the other's. I'm not going to justify the sport, heck, I know that I wouldn't be able to do it. I prefer team sports where I do not have to depend on only myself and blame only myself. I prefer the ability to blame others and myself (mostly others).

The point of this is while my mom and sister were in town this weekend there was a big Welterweight Championship fight: Cotto vs. Mosely . I had no idea about it until the day of and after walking around all day suggested to my sister we just see if they even had tickets at Madison Square Garden. They had tickets and even though they were a little more expensive then I had hoped I did not have any other plans and the thought of watching championship boxing in the Garden where Ali-Frazier took place was compelling enough. We got there at about 7:30pm. I thought for sure the main event go on by 9pm (6pm PST for PPV), but I was wrong the main event started at 11pm. The undercards were good, a few went all 12 rounds, there were two 1st round knockouts, grand entrances with mariachi music, and "Sugar" Shane Moseley was a hometown boy of sorts hailing from Pomona, and now living in Claremont. The crowd was fiercely Puerto Rican in support of Miguel Cotto so decided I would not dare to openly cheer for Moseley, but just planned on enjoyed the fights.

As the entrances began Moseley came out first and up on the jumbotron of Madison Square Garden his hometown of "PONOMA, CA" (the announcer was correct, however, in his pronunciation). I noticed immediately and just the sight of this made me feel like I was in some bizzaro David Lynch world (mostly because I could not stop thinking of Michael Michael's recap of a scene from Inland Empire, which I still have not seen, where one character repeatedly says "POMONA....POMONA...," but in my mind it was replaced with "PONOMA"). Immediately the fear of rooting for the underdog disappeared and I yelled "PONOMA" throughout the rest of the fight. This word has infected my brain now. Each time I think of Pomona, whether its the school, the city, Pomona, KS, or even typing the word "Pomona," I have an urge to switch the nasals. Moseley, ended up losing, but PONOMA wins.

The Armani Exchange

Those of you who know me that this is and accurate representation of my lifestyle. I hang out in well lit playgrounds with my skinny friends who look hungry, tired, and strung out.

Many of you may be well aware of what happened to me on November 1st. I did phone (I dislike the term drunk-dial. It implies a certain amount of regret and I do not regret calling any of you who did get calls. It was more calling people who I normally might not call) many of you and tell you the wonderful thing that happened to me at the Armani Exchange. I was looking for a gift for my Cooperating Teacher with whom I had been student teaching for the past month. I wasn't sure what to get but I was walking around Lincoln Center. I did not want to get a gift certificate from Barnes & Noble. I was thinking of getting some candles or lotions or something. I went to Columbus Circle and was surprised by the amount of swankiness I encountered. For some reason I decided to go to the top floor where ran into a variety of velvet ropes and bouncers for restaurants I most definitely will never eat at in my life. I decided to make a full circle and go back down and I walked in front of the Armani Exhchange. A gentleman in front of the store dressed in gym gear said "come to our Men's Health event" and handed me a card.

"When is it?" I inquired.

"Right now.... Get a free cocktail," He responded.

"Really?!?" Clearly I was intrigued by the prospect of free booze.

"Yeah," he confirmed.

I walked in up to the beefy looking bartenders and got some sort of Skky vodka and energy drink concoction. Pleased with myself I began to browse the store as if I belonged. I could probably be picked out a mile away. I hadn't showered that day, spent most of the day in my boxers and a t-shirt and decided to throw on some jeans and a hoody before I left. A woman asked me to enter some sort of drawing, but I declined and browsed the back of the store, where I thought I might find cheaper bargains. I was mistaken. The cheapest thing I could find was a belt for $58. I began to feel a little uncomfortable and I was planning on leaving soon, but I wanted another drink. I thought they might turn me away since I was ordering my first drink only minutes prior, but pleased, I received my second drink, this time a concoction of Skky vodka and Vitamin Water which I just learned 50 Cent endorses (this was a Men's Health event, I think the brilliant minds at this fact-driven magazine recently uncovered a study that showed by mixing harmful alcohol with a "healthy drink" the harm of alcohol is magically erased).




So I stayed in the store a little longer to finish my second and continued to "browse," which at this point had become quite redundant and most of the other, more properly dressed patrons were beginning to, or had already seen through me. Suddenly, a very fit young woman stepped onto a table in the middle of the store and began to perform a contortion/yoga routine. This was supposed to represent "health" I imagine, but it made me extremely uncomfortable. There was an official photographer looking gentleman there who was taking photos, but there were a number of 30-50 year old men who took out their camera phones and proceeded to take photos for their own private use. Disgusted I downed the remainder of my 2nd drink and went for my 3rd which held me over for the rest of her routine and into the next session.

Two gym rat looking men with shoulders that appeared to swallow their heads began to hold a demonstration and the best exercises to do in the home (push-ups and squats apparently) which was followed by a fitness Q&A session. Another attendee received a free week pass to the Reebok Sports Club for answering a question. In order to bide my time during the session I went for my 4th. I was not drunk and of course I was going for the healthy side effects of the vitamin water. After the Q&A session the vodka finally started to get to me. I went up to one of the gym rats and pried a bit.
"What's so great about the Reebok Sports Club if the best exercises you can do can be done for free at home?" I asked.

"Have you been there?" he responded.

"Nooope" I declared.

"Here take one of these" he said as he handed me a week pass to the club. Just as my drunken mind had plotted.

I finished off my fourth and feigned further browsing. At this point I had spent a good hour and a half in the store, much longer than I planned. With the confidence of a King I went up for my 5th drink and as the bartender handed me my final drink the manager informed him to "close it up!" I hope it was because of me. I finished off my 5th quicker than the rest and drunkenly wandered back to Barnes & Noble and settled on the gift card that I had previously decided not to buy.

What a painfully awkward, fun, and free night.

I realized just how drunk I was at about 2:30 am when I woke up sprawled across my bed fully clothed with the light still on in my room.

I hope I find more shallow, alcohol serving, free events.